The Lovers

Keywords

Upright: Love, union, relationships, values alignment, choices

Reversed: Disharmony, imbalance, misalignment of values

Upright

The Lovers represent perfection, harmony and mutual attractiveness. Their trust in one another gives them strength and confidence to overcome the obstacles in life. The bond that the two lovers has created is incredibly strong and is often reflective of a marriage, soul mate connection or very intimate and close relationship.

The Lovers can also indicate a very strong sexual connection that goes beyond instant gratification and lust to suggest a very deep desire and passion that exists between two beings. The physical attraction is strong and so too is the desire to be intimate with one another.

On a more personal level, the Lovers card represents the establishment of a personal belief system and becoming clearer about your own values. This is a time when you are figuring out what you stand for and what your personal philosophy on life is. Having gone through the indoctrination of the Hierophant, you are now ready to establish your own belief system and make up your own mind about what is and what is not important in life. This is also a time when you need to stay true to yourself and be as authentic and genuine as possible.

The Lovers also represents choices on a grand scale. A dilemma will be presented demanding an action or decision, and you will want to decipher the best way to proceed or make the right choice. Something is going to change your plans or the course of your experience, something that may look negative on the surface but will later prove to be a blessing in disguise.

When the Lovers card appears in a reading, it is important to think about what decisions and choices you are facing. The fact that the Lovers is a Major Arcana card indicates that these decisions or choices are incredibly important and significant so it is essential that you choose the right path. There may be an easy option available but you will need to ask yourself whether this is the right path for you in the long run. Oftentimes, it is the more difficult path that will bring you the greatest benefit, particularly on a deeper level.

If you find yourself at a moral crossroads where you must choose between taking the moral high ground or the low ground, then you need to consider all consequences before acting. The Lovers card highlights that your own value system is being challenged, and you must make a definite choice based on that system. The choices are never really easy or obvious, either. Unlike the Fool’s choice which has no wrong answer, the choice of the Lovers is very much right or wrong because one of those options will almost certainly take you down a negative path. Thus, it is wise to seek higher guidance before making your final decision. You must be completely honest with yourself in the situation. Do not take things strictly on face value but deeply examine your motives, your feelings, your options and your personal values.

Reversed

The Lovers reversed indicates that you are avoiding responsibility for the consequences of your own actions. You have made a rushed decision based purely on your desire for instant gratification and now you are trying to lay the blame on others or on fate. You must do what you can to make amends but if this is not possible, let the past go and resolve to make better choices in the future.

The Lovers reversed can also indicate inner conflicts and being at war with yourself rather than with external forces. It suggests disharmony and difficulty in being able to balance your own inner union. Perhaps you are punishing yourself for something you have done or feel responsible for? To help you out of this situation, you will need to focus on clearly articulating your personal belief systems and values. This will help to guide you in making better decisions next time. In addition, you may need to return to the energy of the Hierophant and seek the counsel and advice of an institution or spiritual mentor.

In a relationship reading, the Lovers reversed indicates that there may be some imbalance. You may feel that a once-close union is starting to fragment and break down. Your vibrations with each other may be out of tune, and you may feel as though you are both out of harmony. Despite an immense amount of potential when you first met, this potential is now being brought into question. You are starting to realise that your values are actually different and your visions of the future are different. These fundamental differences may be a showstopper for the relationship if they cannot be resolved.

The Lovers reversed may also reflect that the feelings within a relationship are not mutual. One person in the partnership may have stronger feelings than the other and may be more emotionally involved. This could lead to disappointments later down the track and feelings of insecurity about the relationship. You may be reluctant to open your heart up to the relationship for fear of getting hurt.

You need to be aware that an imbalance in your relationships exists. With this in mind, you can alter your behaviour to accommodate being out of sync with your partner or someone else who is important in your life. Work hard to bring things back to the level point and do not allow things to get out of control. You may be experiencing a slight downturn at this stage but it certainly does not mean it is all over! Simply try to maintain the balance and harmonise your union together.

Excerpt from The Ultimate Guide to Tarot Card Meanings by Brigit Esselmont